Finding Love

As a child, and then as a teen, I had always heard stories and songs about this mystical, everlasting love. I had always hoped to find it. It sounded so wonderful and fulfilling. You know how the stories ended “and they lived happily ever after”. I know, it sounds silly, those stories were full of D.I.Ds (damsels in distress), but they were rescued by Knights in shining armor. I always wanted to be one of those Knights and find a beautiful woman that I could rescue and who I could live happily ever after with.

Here is what I have learned since then. Everyone is looking for the same thing…Even if they don’t know it. I also learned the secret to finding it.

Are you ready for it?

Here it is----

Love the one you are with…

It’s that simple. Once you have fallen for someone, you both have work and cultivate it. Like I explained recently to my son, love is not unlike hate. They both are like a fire, if you don’t feed them, they can’t survive. Therefore, I don’t hate anyone, because if I don’t care for you, I don’t think about you. In order to hate someone you have to consistently think about it to keep that hate smoldering. I refuse to let anyone or thing control me like that. Loving someone or something is exactly the same, you have to feed that love. Remember what it was that made you love them in the first place. The little things you do for them is the kindling helping it grow. Then every so often you do something really wonderful for them and it’s like a big log, it gets the fire really going. You have to tell them that you love them and mean it with the same feeling and emotion as the first time you ever said it. You have to learn to get pleasure out of making them happy

I think that many people are unhappy or have had bad luck with relationships because they are in love with being in love. They are addicted that wonderful feeling of infatuation that comes at the beginning of a romance. Once that initial excitement wears off, they lose interest and look for the next fix. They never discover that that feeling is still there, you just have to find it again. It takes work. It isn’t always there, but in between, there is that comfortable warm feeling of companionship. That there is someone that you can have a conversation with, without saying a word. Someone that pleases you because they want to, without expecting anything in return but love. Someone that you please because it makes you feel good, just to see a smile and know that you are loved.

I have also discovered that when you are unselfish in your physical relationship,  making sure that you are doing everything possible to please your lover, it is reciprocated, and making love is that much better… And more frequent.

So… Well, I’ll leave it to Stephen stills…